Unexpected Gifts

Many years ago, I had a friend whose parenting style differed vastly from mine. It was never an issue except around sleep. Now anyone who knows me understands that I protect my sleep like a mama lion protects her cubs! I have never been someone who could "get by" on a couple hours of sleep, and I have come to honour and respect the fact that I feel better, see the world better (and frankly behave better) when I've had at least eight hours of sleep. Our differences came to a head one day when she called to invite me, my husband and our then 18 month old for an afternoon get together. Now this was not new. She graciously included us in all sorts of gatherings at her home, but we often declined because these events seemed to consistently conflict with when our daughter would be sleeping. At the time, our daughter slept religiously from one o'clock in the afternoon until approximately four o'clock, and this time was sacred to me. Sometime I napped too, sometimes I caught up on household chores, and sometimes I did nothing. Moreover, I believed that this time was sacred for our daughter. She needed that rest. She seemed to relish the routine of stories and snuggles before I gently put her to bed. Protecting that time was as important to me as breathing and eating.

So on that day, she called again inviting me to a gathering at her home and when I gingerly asked what time, she said it would be at three o'clock. So, feeling like a broken record, I politely declined saying that my daughter would be sleeping. I remember her snapping at me saying, "You can't run your life around her sleep schedule, you know!" Well, I don't remember exactly what I said, but I do remember how I was feeling. I felt frustrated and my feelings were hurt that she wasn't respecting my decision to honour what I felt was sacred.

What I realize now is that she gave me a wonderful, most unexpected gift: she challenged my views on things which gave me pause to really examine if what I was doing was a truth for me. While I didn't realize it at the time, she helped me gain confidence, stand firm in my decisions that resonated for me and my family. I realized that I was taking her reaction personally, which I know now does not serve me (or her) and that it's not her job to make me feel good about my decisions.

Parenting spiritually allows us to listen to our intuition, follow our hearts and stay strong within ourselves even in the face of those who disagree with our views or choose to do things differently. It's about tuning into what resonates in our core for ourselves, our children, our family. Ultimately it's about celebrating that your child(ren) chose YOU for very specific reasons (and one of them may just be to protect nap time!! ;-) ).

Christine Marrin has relished her role as mother for the last ten years. She is passionate about raising our collective consciousness about joyfully connecting to our children and empowering them to connect with their spirits. She celebrates that her greatest learning has come from her children. She is a former elementary school teacher.
For daily parenting thoughts, visit: www.facebook.com/christinemarrinspiritualparenting .
She can be reached at: spiritualparenting@rogers.com or 905-836-6877

Honouring the Journey

With this beautiful Spring weather upon us, I began thinking about how Mother Earth is awakening from her slumber and in doing so, many wondrous friends from the plant and animal worlds are shyly peeking out at us, getting ready to show us their magnificence. And even though we know for sure that Spring arrives every single year, this beautiful display of rebirth and return never gets old. Each year, Mother Earth, the plants, trees, grass, and all our animal creature friends give each other what they need, and in doing so, exemplify symbiosis at its best. The plants' roots stretch ever deeper into the soil giving the plant or tree strength, stability and durability during challenging times. Animals gamely makes nests, emerge from burrows and procreate to ensure the continuation of their respective species. When the wind is up, rain a bit sparse, or nests are found by unsuspecting predators, these amazing life forms can adapt and survive. This is what we parents do for our children. We ground their roots, give them courage and confidence, we honour their journey without attaching our own to it, we listen more and talk less, and we endeavour to be present, fully present to their hopes, their dreams, their ideas, and their worries. But have you noticed how Mother Earth does not attempt to save every single creature from unfortunate circumstances? She simply can't and besides, she knows in her wisdom that every life being has its own journey. Once again we have so much to learn from our collective Mother; she is so very wise. We must remember that we don't own our children; they are not "ours". They merely pass through us during their time on Mother Earth. We cannot save our children from anything, anyway. Oh, sure we can guide them, we can share our viewpoints with them, we can ask questions, and we can even agree to disagree. But if we want our children to keep coming back to us, like Spring comes back each year, we must promise to give our children what they want from us, and not what we think they need. If the foundation of the relationship is strong, we can feel safe watching our children venture out, confidently, into the world where it awaits them with possibilities we cannot even begin to imagine! And if we've done our work, they will come back to us, like the Spring, with the most magnificent stories to share.

Christine Marrin is the owner of, "Christine Marrin~Spiritual Parenting". She is a former elementary teacher and has relished her role as mom for almost ten years. She has realized that her most profound learning has been at the hands of her children. Walking beside them and sharing their journies has been spiritually fulfilling in a way she never imagined. For more information on Spiritual Parenting, she can be reached at 905-836-6877 or www.facebook.com/christinemarrinspiritualparenting